Emotional intelligence in a relationship is essential because it will increase the quality and length of your relationship and heighten your self-awareness, which is the secret behind lasting relationships. It is the emotional equivalent of IQ but is more important in relationships. These are the qualities of couples with high emotional intelligence, or EQ for short.
In this article, I will share how to increase your emotional intelligence and help your relationship get a higher quality, thanks to it.
So, please continue to read this article and don’t hesitate to share it with a friend if you find it useful.
What is emotional intelligence in a relationship?
Emotional intelligence, or EQ for short, is more important than intelligence in a relationship.
One of the main factors in EQ is attentiveness toward your partner.
If you date someone or are suffering from a low level of EQ, you need to increase it since that will also help you improve the quality of your relationship.
EQ also helps improve your relationships at work and increases your ability to handle stress.
As you probably realize, increasing your level of EQ has many benefits, and below, you will find eleven easy ways to do it.
Know yourself.
The first step is to know yourself and have some self-awareness.
We all grow up in different environments and circumstances that shape us as individuals as we reach adulthood and form our core belief systems and subconscious minds.
When you understand that, you will get better self-awareness and know why you react in specific ways, which is one thing a life- and relationship coach can help you learn.
The ancient Greeks knew it and even had it inscribed in stone at the temple of Delphi, where the inscription says, “Know, know thyself.”
Knowing your strengths, understanding your weaknesses, trying to improve them, and realizing your potential will help you grow and increase your self-awareness.
Be open to feedback and criticism.
You will get feedback, positive as well as harmful.
When you get negative feedback and face criticism, listening carefully and taking notes without arguing is essential.
I understand how hard it can be firsthand, but it is more important to listen when there is negative criticism and all the feedback you get.
You need to listen to positive feedback and savor every moment you get it.
If you know someone good at giving positive feedback, you will be much more perceptive and take in the negative feedback the same person gives you.
If someone only gives you negative feedback, you will stop listening after a while.
When you give feedback to somebody else, try to provide at least one positive and one negative point since that will help the person mature and develop the positives.
Identify your feelings.
One of the more essential parts of exploring and evolving your EQ is noticing how you react emotionally and noting it in your mind.
If a co-worker yells at you or says something that makes you upset, make a mental note about it to understand why you reacted the way you did and analyze it later.
Your analysis will help you understand how and why you reacted in a certain way and will increase the likelihood of getting a better interaction the next time it happens.
Be aware of what is happening around you.
It is essential not only to know what is happening inside of you but also around you.
Mindfulness might be one technique that can help you increase your awareness of the things happening around you, which might influence you positively or negatively.
Take a deep breath.
Breathing can help you reduce stress.
By taking a deep breath even now and then, you will become more relaxed, and it will help you calm down too.
Question your stories about past relationships.
We all have stories about different things that happen in our lives.
Stories shape our perceptions about why different things happened in the past and influence us more than we think.
We might believe them to be accurate, and they will influence our future relationships.
Therefore, it is essential to question your stories about why your past relationships ended and some assumptions you might have about your role in them.
It will help you develop a higher sense of emotional intelligence in your future relationships.
Emphasize!
Empathy is one of the most obvious signs, if not the most obvious that you have a high level of EQ.
When you can emphasize and understand what another human being is going through, you will not be seen as a self-centered jerk but as a human being.
Empathy is one of the secrets behind attracting partners since others will think of you as a compassionate person everyone wants to be around.
Celebrate your positive emotions.
The more you focus on your positive emotions, the more you will notice that you experience them.
When you start to be mindful of the positive things that are going on in your life, it might feel a bit strange and even a bit corny.
However, it will feel natural after a while, and you will start getting a positive wave of emotions rolling over you like a wave, creating a positive feedback loop and increasing your levels of well-being.
As you probably understand by now, it is essential to celebrate every positive emotion when you experience them.
Listen in more during conflicts and hear the arguments.
As I told you in the past, you must be able to face criticism, even from the people you love the most.
Another vital element of developing a high level of EQ is listening in on your partner’s arguments when they criticize you and see if there are valid points.
Sometimes there are no valid points, while other times, there might be specific points they make that allow you to improve yourself and, in the long run, your relationship.
When you have conflicts, it might be hard to determine whether it is constructive criticism or your partner only criticizes you because they are unhappy about things in themselves.
If there is too much criticism, it might lead to a toxic relationship that will finally end your current relationship.
It is essential to be aware of the magic relationship ratio since it will be toxic if your only interactions are when you fight.
If you have never heard about it, you will benefit from reading this article, where I discuss how the magic relationship ratio works and what it is.
Try to see it from their point of view.
When you listen to your partner, you must try to change perspectives and see them from their point of view.
That will help you understand when they have valid points and are only criticizing you because they are mad.
It will help you increase your emotional intelligence and improve the overall quality of your relationship.
Find common ground and grow as individuals and as a couple.
Another essential trait is trying to see what you point out that is wrong with your partner and what your partner has pointed out about you.
When personally involved, it can be hard to see things from a neutral standpoint; if you add emotions, you will have difficulty understanding the whole picture.
Try to pick the best arguments from your partner and your standpoint together by discussing them.
Your relationship will benefit the most if you can do this together since it will help you grow as a couple.
Start the discussion by discussing what attracted you to your partner first, then let your partner do the same.
It is probably the best way to increase the quality of your relationship. If you want more tips, you might skip and read the last section, where I share some information.
If you want help, you might hire a trained professional and try role reversal therapy to help you see things clearer from the other person’s perspective.
Lack of emotional intelligence in relationships
Above, I have put a lot of focus on how you can develop emotional intelligence by listening in on the feedback you get from a partner.
In the next section, I will discuss what science reveals about the importance of EQ in relationships.
Before I do that, however, I need to discuss what lack thereof will do to your relationship.
Lack of emotional intelligence in relationships will lead to making mistakes that might end your relationship, such as:
- Thinking that lust or infatuation is a sure sign of emotional intelligence, which is not
- Thinking of your relationship as static and unchangeable when in reality, relationships will always change whether you want it or not and are dynamic entities that are like living organisms themselves
- Seeking security rather than listening to your emotions and correctly identifying that you are a better, more relaxed, giving, and friendly human to others around you.
If you lack emotional intelligence, it is easy to make these common mistakes.
Your best approach will be to intelligently and emotionally grow as a human being by identifying the eleven ways to increase your emotional intelligence that I discuss at the beginning of this article.
It will help you grow and mature in your current relationship. Don’t be afraid of lifting any concerns about your partner.
It would be best to address them since they will stop annoying you when your partner can work with them. In a proper environment of openness, it is essential to work with the things you do that your partner finds annoying.
Another sign of a lack of emotional intelligence is emotional immaturity.
If your partner isn’t adult enough to see their wrongdoings and mistakes, you will have difficulty trying to fix them and grow as a couple.
In this case, your partner’s lack of emotional intelligence will most likely make your relationship fail, and you might have to split up.
How to be emotionally intelligent in a relationship
Emotional intelligence increases the perceived satisfaction of your relationship.
Several scientific studies prove that personality traits such as high extraversion, high conscientiousness, and low levels of neuroticism are associated with higher romantic relationship satisfaction.
In a recent article published in 2022, researchers Jardine and Voyer noted that divorce rates have increased among individuals in their late 30s (35-39 years old) since the 1970s, creating “a need to understand how satisfying romantic relationships can be formed and maintained.”
They discovered that emotional intelligence was vital to keeping happy and satisfactory long-lasting relationships.
Source: Jardine, B. B., Vannier, S., & Voyer, D. (2022). Emotional intelligence and romantic relationship satisfaction: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Personality and Individual Differences, 196, 111713. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2022.111713
For more insights, read the article “I don’t know how to be in a relationship,” which discusses relationships more thoroughly.
Emotional intelligence and relationship quality amongCoupless
Emotional intelligence increases the rate of team relationships, as I am sure you realize if you have read the entire article.
To grow as individuals and as a couple, it is best if you try to follow these ways to increase the level of emotional intelligence in relationships:
- Know yourself.
- Be open to feedback and criticism.
- Identify your feelings.
- Be aware of what is happening around you.
- Take a deep breath.
- Question your stories about past relationships.
- Emphasize!
- Celebrate your positive emotions.
- Listen in more during conflicts and listen to your partner’s arguments.
- Try to see it from their point of view.
- Find common ground and grow as a couple.
These eleven habits will help you grow and mature as both individuals and a couple.
If you want more tips on increasing your relationship’s quality, click or tap on the image below and watch the video until the end.
For better relationships,
Rickard
